reason The Seperation broke up...

[Hollow]

The end of The Separation.
Dear friends,

In the past week certain issues pertaining to a member of our band have come to light that we had previously been unaware of. Certain women within our community have come forward to share with us how they had been manipulated and deceived by this person. His actions have compromised the integrity of our band and our message, but more importantly, have deeply hurt members of our community. More specifically these actions had been perpetuating the sexism and misogyny which we as a band had always made a point to address and confront. Because our touring and traveling had facilitated the means by which he had been able to meet these people and carry out such actions, we have decided to no longer continue as a band as this would negate the purpose behind our music. This decision has been made out of respect and support for those directly affected by his selfish actions. We hope that this reflects our continued desire to strive towards equality within our community and preserves our message as a band.

This person has expressed deep remorse and regret, as well as a desire to correct his faults and change his behavior. He is still a beloved friend of ours, and we wholeheartedly intend to support him in his efforts.

We are forever in debt to all of our amazing friends who have continually loved and supported us. This band has been an invaluable experience that we will never forget. For all those who have ever listened to us, fed us, sang along, given us a place to sleep, hung out with us, bought and/or put out our records, you have made The Separation what it was. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.



Sincerely,

Ben, Kyle, Joey and Andy

Thoughts?

[grind/bro]

[Andrew]

Hmm, seems a little extreme to me. If they intend to make amends, the guy is sorry, and they still want to be friends with him and support him, why break up the band over this? Seems like the dismantling of the band is a punishment to the wrong-doer in the band, a bit of the "throw the baby out with the bath water" effect.

I respect that they feel so strongly about their message and ethics, but to me if the band was "mis-used" in their eyes, why not use the band to fix the wrong doing instead of destroying it?

Without knowing what the guy did it's hard to say how strongly I'd feel about his actions. If what he did was criminal that's a whole other level, but if the guy was just a bit of a dog, i wonder about ending the band over it.

[KYLESTYLE]

sounds a bit over the top to me, but that's my view.

Seems like an old testament ruling by God. Didn't Jesus die for our sins so we could hook up with chicks?

[Hollow]

Hmm, seems a little extreme to me. If they intend to make amends, the guy is sorry, and they still want to be friends with him and support him, why break up the band over this? Seems like the dismantling of the band is a punishment to the wrong-doer in the band, a bit of the "throw the baby out with the bath water" effect.

I respect that they feel so strongly about their message and ethics, but to me if the band was "mis-used" in their eyes, why not use the band to fix the wrong doing instead of destroying it?

Without knowing what the guy did it's hard to say how strongly I'd feel about his actions. If what he did was criminal that's a whole other level, but if the guy was just a bit of a dog, i wonder about ending the band over it.

Yeah, I get that. On the other hand, the dudes who I met in this band (when they were in SIS) seemed pretty chill. I can't imagine it's just dude sleeping around, cuz they don't seem like the kind of guys to freak out about that. I obviously can't make a call without knowing exactly what happened, but I'm seriously curious. If it was just him usin' the old "Hey baby, I'm in a band" line, then yeah that's a stupid reason to break up.

[Andrew]

I'm sure they're being vague to not bash their bandmate, but this statement will probably spurn more rumor and conjecture than if they'd just layed out what happened.

Probably would have been better to just break up and not release a statement about the why. Or get a new drummer if they weren't happy with him in the band, that'd be a stronger support of their message in my eyes.

[Hollow]

I'm sure they're being vague to not bash their bandmate, but this statement will probably spurn more rumor and conjecture than if they'd just layed out what happened.

Probably would have been better to just break up and not release a statement about the why. Or get a new drummer if they weren't happy with him in the band, that'd be a stronger support of their message in my eyes.

Agreed. Still, nice guys and I hope they do well with whatever they end up doing.

[Rude Boy Puff]

My thoughts? The breaking up of the band makes it seem like hes handing out candy to school kids, but the still being "dear friends" makes it seems like its couldnt be that big a deal.
Im confused about all this and wouldnt ever hang my homies laundry to dry on the internet like this.

[trappedinside]

So they're still "dear friends" with this guy yet they really absolutely couldn't have finished the last two goddamn shows of their tour? I dunno man...

[dalamar501]

So they're still "dear friends" with this guy yet they really absolutely couldn't have finished the last two goddamn shows of their tour? I dunno man...

well still dear friends in that even though he has done something that they can't abide by since it is against what they stood for they want to help him through it since he was remorseful about it. Makes sense to me i would stand by my friends and help them change even if they did shitty things.

[tylerp]

how to properly do this:

1) finish tour
2) break up

[Hollow]

how to properly do this:

1) finish tour
2) break up

Backed. The more I think about it, the more I don't care what the dude did, they should have finished up the tour.

[trappedinside]

^exactly.

[Tambro]

Don't people always spout about how hardcore bands should live by their message? Isn't this just the ultimate form of that? It makes sense to me, personally not something I do, because I'm a big poser, but I think it's noble to stand up for your ideals and message in a way like this.

[grind/bro]

I don't think any of us were in the band at all, so them breaking up midtour and going home is the right thing to do if they feel it is. I wouldn't want to keep touring with someone that I know has a serious "problem" or playing shows would make the band too volatile. Finishing the tour probably would have just felt terrible for them.

[Rude Boy Puff]

I dont care they went home but if dude has an issue with girls there are 2 ways to handle it

a.) leave him at the side of the road in any condition you see fit. Go home and air your shit on the internet
and
b.)realize hes your friend and help him through his problem and not go home and air your personal shit on the internet

They chose to keep him as a friend but make him out to be a pedophile on the internet. I just dont get it is all.

[grind/bro]

Yeah that posting about his issues with chicks or whatever seems a little bit too much infos.

[Hollow]

I don't think any of us were in the band at all, so them breaking up midtour and going home is the right thing to do if they feel it is. I wouldn't want to keep touring with someone that I know has a serious "problem" or playing shows would make the band too volatile. Finishing the tour probably would have just felt terrible for them.

They had two shows left to do. You can't finish a two dates and then break up? There are probably drummers who could have jumped in and helped.

Don't get me wrong, I'm completely speculating and going on my opinion, but if it was me I would have done this very very differently. And, I should point out, this isn't me saying "fuck those guys", I applaud them for following their moral compass, but I think they went about it poorly.

[Hollow]

I dont care they went home but if dude has an issue with girls there are 2 ways to handle it

a.) leave him at the side of the road in any condition you see fit. Go home and air your shit on the internet
and
b.)realize hes your friend and help him through his problem and not go home and air your personal shit on the internet

They chose to keep him as a friend but make him out to be a pedophile on the internet. I just dont get it is all.

Also, this. All that post did was fuel speculation.

[Rude Boy Puff]

I dont care they went home but if dude has an issue with girls there are 2 ways to handle it

a.) leave him at the side of the road in any condition you see fit. Go home and air your shit on the internet
and
b.)realize hes your friend and help him through his problem and not go home and air your personal shit on the internet

They chose to keep him as a friend but make him out to be a pedophile on the internet. I just dont get it is all.

Also, this. All that post did was fuel speculation.

When you make a bulletin about how you have to break up because your friend is to sketchy with girls to contiue touring with no other details what other choice is their then worst case scenario. You either keep your business to yourself (which I think they should have) Or you have to paint the whole picture for those reading